Recovered Q&A - How Jenny Mullaney recovered from her own eating disorder, Part 2
In part 2 of her interview, Jenny Mullaney provides even more insights into how she healed and what made her stick with recovery (even when it was tough).
In case you missed part 1, Jenny Mullaney is a Carolyn Costin Institute (CCI) certified eating disorder recovery coach and performing artist working out of NYC. As a recovery coach, Jenny offers many services to her clients, including meal time support, exposure therapy outings, and even live-in coaching. However, before becoming a recovery coach, Jenny suffered from own eating disorder. With a lot of hard work, introspection, and the right help, Jenny was able to recover and now lives a happy life without an eating disorder.
The Interview, Part 2
Joe: What made you start to doubt the ‘truth’ that your eating disorder presented to you?
Jenny: I used to think that everyone on my treatment team was being nice to me because they were getting paid. After I was no longer a client, everyone was still available to help me when I needed it (within reason). I also made friends through my treatment process. This made me question if I was as unlovable as my eating disorder told me I was.
Joe: Do people need to understand “why’ they are sick in order to get better?
Jenny: I think that insight and context are helpful, but I don’t think you need to unpack every single issue to get better. You really need to change eating behaviors to change an eating disorder. Even to this day, I still have emotional issues that I work out, but that is just part of the human experience.
Joe: What is something that never changed about you before, during, or after your eating disorder?
Jenny: I’ve always loved to dance. My passion was always there. But I will say, during my eating disorder dancing became a lot less fun. Losing my energy to dance was also an important signal to me that my eating disorder wasn’t really in my control anymore and it was a problem.
Joe: The first few months of recovery are known for being very challenging, and at times, can make the process seem like it is not worth it. How did you tolerate the early stages of healing?
Jenny: I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it without constant support. It just wouldn’t have been possible. I think the most important thing was letting my treatment team actually help me. I trusted them and let them guide me as a part of the process. That doesn’t mean that I had no say in my life, but on the important things, they were there for me.
Joe: When did you start to feel that recovery was worth it?
Jenny: After being in treatment for about 6 months, I had been following my meal plan and had gained some weight (more than I thought I could). Despite my fears about my body, I had signed with an agent to help me get dancing auditions. After doing so, I was given an audition to work alongside Rhianna. I didn’t book the job from that audition, but I also didn’t get laughed out of the room. This helped me see that maybe my body wasn’t what my eating disorder said it was.
Joe: How long did it take to start seeing your body accurately? What helped heal your dysmorphic perceptions?
Jenny: This is a hard question to answer because healing my body dysmorphia didn’t happen in one single moment. It happened in bits and pieces over time: one moment I could see myself normally and then another moment I would see myself as much larger. But this back and forth helped create a doubt towards my eating disorder and what it would tell me about how I looked. I also learned to trust my dietitian who would tell me, in vague terms, if my weight was trending up, down, or staying the same. This gave me some healthy feedback that I could use to challenge my eating disorder perceptions.
Joe: If you could time travel and send your old self a note, what would you say to her?
Jenny: It gets better. There is hope. Find the people who see the best in you and treat you that way. You are lovable just the way you are.
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If you want to learn more about Jenny’s services, check out the links below:
Bio: https://www.recoveredispossible.com/about
Recovery coaching services: https://www.recoveredispossible.com/services
